"Pick Your Battles"

I'd have to admit that I used to be a bit of a control freak (and some of my friends would venture to say that I still am in certain areas of my life).  Over time though, I've learned that yielding to another can result in less stress and more happiness.

For example, before I was married, I lived on my own in a little garage apartment attached to an older woman's home.  I had my set up just right.  I knew how I liked to fold my laundry, where I liked to store away my dishes, and so on.  When I got married, my husband had another whole set of rules he followed.  IF the towels were folded, that was a good thing, who cared if they weren't tri-folded?  IF the dishwasher was loaded, who cared if the plates weren't neatly stacked together and the bowls in the proper place?  WELL I DID!  Then I took a step back and realized:

1. at least my husband was helping out around the house
2. the towels weren't tri-folded but the towels were folded
3. the dishwasher may not have been organized the way I liked it but the dishes were clean

I learned it was not necessarily important how it was done, as long as it was done.  So I coined the phrase "pick your battles".  It's so true!  There's less arguing and more happy bantering when I don't nit-pick over every little thing.  At the time, we were both working full-time outside the home, so it took teamwork to get things done around the house.  Now that I'm staying at home with the kids, I do find I have lapsed back into my old ways of reorganizing the dishwasher if he has helped load it.  But I don't say anything.  I think back to the time when we were newlyweds and smile. 

Now that I have children, I've learned this "pick your battles" thing can work for them too.  If my daughter wants to parade around in a princess dress from sun-up to sun-down for 3 days straight, that's fine...at least she's got clothes on.  If my son wants to play in a mud puddle and splash around in the water, that's fine too...he's washable and so are his clothes.  If my daughter wants to have a ham and cheese sandwich for breakfast instead of cereal or french toast sticks, that's okay...at least she's eating something somewhat nutritious.  However, I do draw the line at candy and sweets before lunchtime.  My daughter will ask for a brownie at 7:30 in the morning.  I'll suggest she have an apple or some grapes if she's still hungry, knowing she already had a bowl of cereal with a banana.  The battle of the wills begin, but a compromise is reached when everyone gets a brownie for dessert after supper.

I hope you learn to pick your battles and enjoy the moments you have with your family.  It works for us. 

Do you argue over the little things?