Thursday, October 14, 2010

The Daily Grind: "NO!"

I feel like that's all I hear lately from my 2 year old son.  He has truly reached his "terrible two" stage.  My patience is waning.   

"Do you want some cereal for breakfast?"

"NO!"

"Do you want a banana?"

"NO!"

"Would you like to eat a pancake?"

"NO!"

I give up!  Rarely do we hear "yes" or "uh-huh".  I know this is a phase.  He wants to exert his independence.  Make decisions for himself.  I get that.  But I don't get the "NO!" for everything.

Well, not everything.  I'll get a "uh-huh" for "sicles" (popsicles), "monkey" (Curious George) and "bo-bo" (apples). 

So to counteract the no-ing.  I've been trying to find ways around negative reactions from myself.

When it's time for bed and they want to stay up, I've been trying the approach "we'll get up bright and early in the morning, but right now we really need to get some sleep". 

My automatic reaction is to say no.  Hence, the problem in the first place.  

We recently studied an article about having gracious speech with our fellow man, our family, our congregation.  I personally made a decision to make a conscious effort to pray every morning to use gracious speech when speaking to my children.  It works!  God wants us to succeed in having a happy family life.  Being able to communicate nicely to one another is important for success.  When the kids are screaming at each other because one took the other's toy, I send them to time-out to calm down.  Then when time-out is over, they come to me and we talk about what transpired.  Then we pray.  I try to use words both a 4 year old and a 2 year old can understand, knowing Jehovah will hear our earnest prayer and give us the needed help to succeed. 
Anyone else have suggestions on how to avoid telling your children "NO"?

4 comments:

Mommarock said...

Avoid yes and no questions. For instance. Ask which of these would you like, the apple or the banana? You are giving him the option to assert his independant choice. You are not giving him a yes or no option.

Susie said...

I use a great combination of yelling and ignoring the no. It does not work like a charm:-(

Jenna @ Newlyweds said...

Fun fun, I just ignore them all together lock myself in my bedroom and pray they fall asleep, ha ha ha.

No seriously I think avoiding no answers and doing what your doing is the best solution, my boys didn't do the No-ing so much.

Vikki said...

As a retired early childhood educator I have to tell you I agree hands down with the first poster. He is a normal 2 year old exerting his power over you. And guess what? You're giving him the power, the power to say no. Do not ask yes and no questions. Give 2 options and no more. If he still tries "no" repeat the options. If he still doesn't make a choice. then choose for him. He'll catch on quickly and you'll both be much happier.
Remember No is a powerful word. Just think of all the adults that are afraid to use it.

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